Day 16 (my favorite art)

           On the way back from Bhagsu, I tried to follow Irma's incredibly simple directions to Jim's, but somehow ended up in someone's cow pasture backyard, with no idea how to get to the town, which I could see, an entire hotel floor below me. I ended up hopping onto a balcony roof that didn't have an exit, so I jumped back into the cow pasture, then snuck through someone's personal entryway to the street below.

           It was a metaphor for my interaction with Irma: I fucked up and felt like a loser, but in the end I was okay, and something pretty awesome happened, even if it didn't go how I'd hoped.
           I went to a hotel restaurant for what ended up being the worst meal I ate in India, then started the true "walk of shame" back to Jim's. I hate that this always happens. Irma couldn't explain what I'm missing that makes me not seal the deal, and I'm sick of getting friendzoned. Instead of excitement she felt pity and that's the worst.

           After I knocked on Jim's door, I cleaned up, and then, while sitting on his toilet (I'd chosen not to use Irma's squatter), I decided to implement Neil Gaiman's advice and "make good art" out of my pain:
           A few days ago, Jim had told me I'd need passport-sized photos to get an Inner Line Permit to travel to Spiti with him, so I bought some. The place gave me 8, which I knew was more than I'd need, so I took the extras and made little flyers that I posted on walls all over town:

So you can see how absurd this really was, here's some of the nearby posters, which were literally all spiritual/instructional in nature:


I'd expected Jim to tell me I was breaking some important social norm, but he laughed a lot when I showed him, and took the picture right above that one, thanks Jim!
          Jim also did me an enormous favor. I finally finished the AWESOME song I started writing in Paris a week ago, so I asked him to film me playing it on his porch:
I'm really proud of that and look forward to playing it all over the world.
          We took the bumpiest ride possible in a rickshaw to the bus station to buy our tickets to Manali, and I jokingly told the driver to make it less bumpy because I needed to shave. He had this beautiful sign overhead:

If the blurriness caused by the shaking of the vehicle made that impossible to read, it says "All is well."
           Jim and I had a good day together that helped me forget my heartbreak. He showed me how to handwash clothing, which I'd never imagined I'd do. There's something very satisfying about it. I got a blister from wringing it out so well. We put it on a line in the bedroom since it's raining.
           I finally decided I'm okay with the milk out here, so I ordered a Hello to the Queen for $2. It was delicious but I hope I don't get sick on the 12 hour bus ride tomorrow.
           Jim and I discussed everything that happened with Irma and he said she probably talked to her friends about me before we met up and they convinced her not to go for it with me. She did really like me at first. I feel OK about that now.
           Jim asked what I've learned on my trip so far. One thing is how much happier I can be without a smartphone. No texts, too. I have no source of anxiety anymore. Also, my openness to experience is inversely correlated with the amount of reinforcement I get for being in society. I.e. I don't care about reinforcement when I'm open to beauty but, when I get it, desire for it takes over and I don't feel so open anymore. If I got a tattoo today it would say "end narrowness."