It all started in April. I realized I'd soon have a month off and nothing to do. This happens every year, and every year I try to go on tour, and usually there's not enough time to book anything and I just end up visiting NYC again. My interest in traveling far away had always been basically nil - why would I want to go somewhere dangerous and gross where I can't even communicate with anyone? If I travel, it'd be to a place strikingly similar to the comfort of the U.S.

          Around the same time, I got an email from Jim, my oldest friend in the world, telling me to visit him in the northern part of India, where the Tibetan government-in-exile operates from:

          He'd been there for years, first as a Tibetan Buddhist monk and now as a Tibetan Buddhist translator. My initial reaction was "hell no" but then I saw Marina Abramovic give an amazing lecture at Harvard

where she talked about living with some tribe in the rainforest and how they gave her a totally new vision of how to fund a business. Even hearing about it made me relax in a way I hadn't all year.
"Damn, I need to get away," I realized, "and it needs to be a total mind-fuck."
          I had thousands of SkyMiles saved up from years of visiting my parents across the country so when I checked flights to India I found I could go for free(!), and booking on such short notice didn't matter at all.
          There were two airports I could fly into on my way to India - Amsterdam or Paris. Delta.com suggested a 6 hour layover in Paris, and while I was considering whether that'd be enough time to see the city, I realized it wouldn't cost any extra miles to just stay there for a week on my way to India.
          For years, I'd dreamed of touring France just to translate my songs into French for an audience who could actually understand them. I tried to set up tours there several times, and never found any gigs or places to stay so always gave up.
          This free trip would be the perfect chance to finally live out this dream.
Inspired by Jeffrey Lewis's "European Travel Diary" in his wonderful "Fuff" comic book series

          I decided to just open myself up to what the world has to offer and hope it doesn't screw me over in the process. That was the only reading material I brought with me.

Then I called my part-time lover and full-time friend Lydia and told her my plans.

"I'm gonna be in Venice May 18th and 19th! Come see me on your way to Paris!"
"Hmmm..."
          I'd never considered visiting Italy before, having always hated literally everything about Italian culture, but one of the great things about being as shallow and easy as men are is we end up letting women convince us to be more flexible than we'd otherwise let ourselves be.

          So I spent 222,000 Skymiles and booked an almost-free ($275 in taxes) month-long journey around the world.
I'd just gotten out of a stressful relationship and the anxiety pains in my stomach had stuck around like an STD.
I borrowed a sleeping bag and backpack and made a conscious effort to plan as little as possible and just EXIST for the first time in ages. I thought this would probably cure my anxiety.

          As usual, my mom almost ruined this plan. She came to visit right before my trip, when I should've been scrambling to figure out all kinds of stuff (and had to finish grading my students' final papers) and gave me a ton of shit to bring/worry about. I tried to fight this instinct to start thinking ahead as much as possible but once an idea is planted in your mind it's very hard to totally get rid of it.

          I initially intended to just meet people once I got there or sleep on the street, like Jeff did, but, partially due to mom's paranoia, I asked everyone I know for contacts in Paris or near Venice who could hang out with/host me (I assumed Jim would take care of everything in India).
          I also joined couchsurfing.org and frantically asked everyone I could find in those towns (except for the guys who said stuff like "this is a clothes-optional home") if I could stay there/hang out with them. From this constant badgering I found:
a) One guy in Padova Italy who said Lydia and I could stay there my first night in town
b) One venue in Paris who'd let me open for some band I'd never heard of
c) A couple people who were okay with the idea of my hanging out with them in Paris and could maybe host me a night or two if I were really screwed.
          Then, maybe a week before I had to leave, I emailed Emilie, who Amanda Palmer had got me in touch with when I tried to tour Paris a year earlier. Not only did this woman I'd never met find me a venue where I could play all night, but she told me I could stay with her friend Guilhem all week for free in the hippest section of Paris! I'd rather stay with one of the beautiful women I'd found on couchsurfing.org but was glad I had this to fall back on if none of them would let me.

          Of course, I had to get a bunch of vaccinations and a Visa for India (traveling to Europe is literally as easy as traveling to another state in the US). After she gave me my other shots, the Dr. told me the rabies and malaria vaccines would take too long since I was leaving in 3 weeks and just told me to be careful, but not to worry much b/c I'd only be in a malaria zone for one day (she convinced me to buy DEET for my evening in Delhi) and gave me some traveler's diarrhea pills (part of the inspiration for this blog's title).

When applying for the Visa, I continued my life-long plan of having the courage to be entertaining in the face of dullness, and submitted this as my Visa application photo:

          Jim warned me not to make the duck-face, but for ten years I've tried to live under the philosophy that "if you have to consider whether to do it for more than a minute, you should do it."
          Of course, they rejected my application and told me to take a new photo, so I ended up going to CVS and paying for passport photos, hopefully the last time I ever pay to have my photo taken. I don't regret it though, I still got what I needed and it was hilarious. Life isn't measured in how many bad things you avoid but rather the net gain of each experience, and this one was definitely a net gain.

           Jim told me it might snow while we were in India, in addition to the boiling summer heat and the possibility of monsoon season starting while we were there. Jeff Lewis had written that you should travel as light as possible, but he'd also said on the flight home they cleared out his entire row because he smelled so bad, plus I didn't think I could get along with only one shirt for the entire month, so I brought 3 changes of clothes for high and low temperatures, but made sure to only bring shit I wouldn't miss if I had to leave it behind. I researched the rules for luggage and discovered I'm not allowed to bring aerosols (like my can of DEET) so I hope they have good bugspray at the airport in Delhi.
          Despite trying to travel light, I ended up looking like this everywhere I went:
          I wasn't excited about the prospect of hauling that 50 lb backpack as we trekked through the Himalayas, not knowing where we'd sleep every night, but I needed everything in there.
          I'd asked Jim what we'd eat and what I should bring and he said "Bring balls of steel. We will hunt snow leopard." This was exactly what I needed to hear.

          One other thing before the story begins. Somehow, even though I could fly directly to Boston FROM Paris, I'd have to pay a lot extra to fly TO Paris without stopping somewhere. One option was NYC (JFK), with a 7 hour layover.
"WTF am I gonna do in NYC for 2 hours?"
          I called this young lady I'd met at one of my shows in January. We'd been interested in each other from the start but I'd been taken nonstop until April and hadn't seen her since the night we met. I told her we should have sex during my layover. She said OK but told me to find a place b/c hers wasn't reliable. I spent the two days before my flight out frantically calling everyone I knew in NYC and asking if I could borrow their floor (I had a sleeping bag, remember) for a few hours. Everyone laughed at how absurd and inappropriate this request was. Eric said "I almost want to say yes just b/c this is so funny" which is exactly as helpful as saying no, thanks Eric!
          Finally, I discovered I have one true friend in NYC - my old roommate, Colin, who laughed a lot and told me we can't use his bed. Also, he was gonna be at work during those hours so I'd have to come pick up his keys then return them when we were done.
          I sent the lady a FB message saying "meet me at this address at 3:30 PM" and she wrote back "OK."
On Friday, May 17th, I got on the first of what would be the first of 6 planes over the next month...
(Start at Day 1)