Day 27

       I just walked into the room, listening to Ain't Nuttin But a G Thing on my headphones, and started dancing. I was feeling good, doing smooth moves, and Jim said "God, you're so old" and it immediately killed my good mood. He meant that I look dorky, but I guess it's getting tough to pull off the persona I once had.

I may have to start looking super dorky on purpose, gonna have to find a good costume that isn't too artificial-looking.

       The waiter at Wonderland told me there aren't any bars in Leh because the government charges too much for the liquor licenses. He also said the worst thing about living in India is all the women are married or waiting to get married. I am glad I did not grow up here.

       Jim and I took a bus to a monastery but I couldn't focus with the noise of the monks talking to each other (and Jim) nearby. I did take 1 picture though:

       I love my new shirt so much. Jim (and a lot of others) think my love of my art is narcissistic, but in reality I make stuff that I'd love no matter who made it, it's just perfect for my taste. If I saw this shirt on someone else I'd love it just as much. I am proud that I made something beautiful, though.

       Jim said we had to hurry and catch the last bus back to Leh. We waited for the bus with an Indian with a motorcycle and a jeep full of western tourists. I started up a conversation with them and they said they had to leave and didn't offer us a ride. The Indian said he was waiting for his friend so they could motorcycle back to Leh together. He didn't think the bus was coming. He was right. He offered Jim and I a ride. I'm ethically opposed to motorcycles due to noise, danger, and inefficiency, but had no better option, and am working on being more open, so I hopped on the back and held onto the seat with two hands for the whole ride. Apparently, in India, helmets are mandatory for drivers but not passengers! He expertly weaved between cars on the HImalayan roads and I knew I'd be safe, but still couldn't really relax at all for fear of falling off the back. They dropped us in Leh and refused to accept payment. What a wonderful world.

       I was exhausted and sat at dinner, thinking aloud, when Jim told me I talk about myself too much. I reacted as he does when criticized, and started thinking this may have ruined other relationships I've had. I asked what else I should say. He said talk about your impression of India. I said he already knows what it's like. He said conversation is not purely for communication. I disagreed and said I'd be bored if he discussed India with me now, so I won't do the same. In hindsight, though, the problem is that I can't process most of my thoughts by myself, I have to talk it out with someone. So they think I'm self-absorbed, but in reality I'm just kind of stupid this way. We're leaving at 4 a.m. for Keylong, time to sleep.